O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize