You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
