I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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