also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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