I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
