Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
