Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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