her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
