what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
