hell yes lets make some ravioli
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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