there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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