I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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