i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
