some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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