Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
