party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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