I need help removing her.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
You took a bar mat shot.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
