Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
