False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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