Have you finally orgasmed yet?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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