you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
