So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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