My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
