He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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