anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
