speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
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