What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
