I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
