Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
