don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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