No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
