Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
