I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
