So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
