i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
