Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
i've created a new STD.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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