i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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