it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize