capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Randomize
