3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
