I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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