Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
