how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
