we have officially lost it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
