i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
