Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Bring me that man meat
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
