I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
