so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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