I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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