Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
