that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
