But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
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