So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
