No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize