Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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