I hate all girls vehemently.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
