Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
