I'm really into asian looking animals
Apparently you make a good broom.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
