gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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