Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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